Letter to Eric from the Boo

I really wanted to write something on this blog, but I didn't know quite what to say. I still haven't quite gotten my head together about the whole thing. Late one night in early July, I was reading back through some emails that Eric sent me, especially that last one sent on June 16th that was posted earlier on this blog. That night I wrote a reply to that letter, even though it was a few weeks to late. This is it.


Dear Eric, Ive been missing you terribly lately. I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner, right when i got your email, but i was too busy? I'm so sorry. I never should have waited to answer. Thanks for writing all of us, it was so good to hear from you and get a glimpse of what your life is like over there.
Ok, i wont visit transganistan if you say so. How about meeting up in Greece instead? Italy would do too.
Oh Eric, i miss you so. I cant really believe you're not coming back this time. We are all having a hard time without you. We are still so very proud of you and the life you lived. We keep hearing wonderful things about you from your fellow marines and commanders- they praise your hard work, your bravery, your courage, and your trust in God. You were someone everyone loved, and they are fighting for you now.
I love you so much dear Cousin, and am so thankful that God put you in my life for as long as he did. You taught me so much- how to defend myself against knife attacks, how to do handstands (I couldn't do the pushup kind like you), how to swim so well. You showed me your shells from the depths of oceans, and you gave me your old flight jacket. You cared about the "boo" and were always ready to talk to me. And thanks dear Eric, for changing your plans so you could see one last time in December for only a few brief moments in the airport. It means more now than you will ever know.
My saddest thought is that you wont be there to meet my kids, my husband some day- you wont be at Christmas or thanksgiving, my wedding. But know that at each event, a place of honor will be saved for you, you will always be remembered as a hero, as a friend and brother who knew no greater love than this, to give his life for his friend.
Thanks Cuz, you mean the world to us all. I love you so much and wish you were here. My heart is breaking without you, but I trust that God is taking care of you, and you are hunting with Britta and coming in for some of Grandma's potato salad. I'll love you forever dearest Eric.
Love, the Boo

P.S. I just remembered that night when we went for a walk on the beach in Pensacola, the moon was huge! and there was some kind of phospholuminescent bacteria or something in the water, so that when we splashed in it, the waves would light up like a thousand tiny fireflies. That night was so magical, I'll remember it forever. I love you again.

Happy birthday bro

It just so happens that Eric and I, from the time we were teenagers, celebrated our birthdays together since we were born 4 days apart in 1973. We rarely missed a year even during the busy times and after college and after marriage for me. Rarely was the day of the celebration on either one of our actual birthdays, so I'm not amiss to write this today 2 days before the 13th. The picture above was taken on our 22nd birthday as best I can tell. If I'm wrong, it's certainly when we were in our early 20's.

It is amazing to me what can trigger a memory of Eric. When you are so close to someone and have spent so much time together that no one particular event is in and of itself more memorable than another this will happen. Sometimes I'm hesitant to write something on the blog because I think it is too "trivial." Let me give an example: I drove by a billboard that was an advertisement for some brand of bratwurst sausages and it had "das gut" written on it. For me this triggered a mental image of Eric with a great big grin and him saying something in a husky voice with his best impression of a thick German accent, mimicking some soldier from an old WWII movie like "Where Eagles Dare" - which was one of his favorites. Then the memory gates open more and I'm remembering how we used to pull "all nighters" watching war movies, westerns, etc in his basement. My adult mind thinks, "what a waste of time and sleep," but we loved it back then.

Watching the summer olympics made me think of Eric and his many athletic abilities more than once. He was good or great at so many things: swimming, archery, sailing, shooting, running, gymnastics (not many can do free standing hand stand push ups in the double digits at age 34, which I bet he was still doing). There are probably more, but I don't think table tennis was one of them.

One usually receives gifts on a birthday. One thing I will always think of when I remember him is how giving he always was - what a gift he was as a friend. For any out there still missing him, my heart aches along with you.